he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
