just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize