super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
