Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
