I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
