He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
