We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
