yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
