I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
