We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
