just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
