I don't think brook has ever known best
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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