I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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