I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
