is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
