yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Fuck appropriateness.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
