we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
