and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
