I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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