Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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