and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
