My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize