I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
