My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
