If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
