I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
