i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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