just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
