haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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