3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
