god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize