AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
