I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize