dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wear drunk well.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
