You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
