There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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