My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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