I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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