Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
