Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
