I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
