did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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