Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
