I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
