um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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