Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
