That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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