I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
