ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
