her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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