you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
