I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
