Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
