i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Farmville is her only friend.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
