thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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