The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
