i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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