Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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