While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
