He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
