how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize