Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I came so hard my ears popped.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize