it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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