in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
