brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
