How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
