oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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