One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
