My nipple is on Facebook.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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