I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
